While the risk of staying may be very high, simply leaving the relationship, does not guarantee that the violence will stop. The period during which a victim is planning or making their exit is often the most dangerous time for them and their children. Many victims are frightened of the abuser, and with good reason, as it is not uncommon for perpetrators to threaten to harm or even kill their partner or children if they leaves.
The resources and support you may need to leave a violent relationship safely include: money, housing, help with moving, transport, ongoing protection from the police, legal support to protect you and your children, and emotional support.
Items you should take with you when you leave:
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Keep birth certificates, marriage certificates, passports and medical cards together
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Keep bank & building society books, benefit books together and accessible
- Carry driving licence, motor insurance and vehicle registration documents
- Take rent or mortgage account detail, as well as other important telephone / type talk numbers
- Plan to take all the children with you (the longer children are left ‘at home’ the harder it is to get them later)
- Take money, credit cards, spare keys for the house and car
- Put aside necessary prescription medication
- Have a bag with clothes, toiletries and toys hidden or at someone else’s house
- Arrange to store personal possessions and valuables
- Try and have a statement written out and a photograph of the perpetrator (this will help serving court papers etc).
People and Organisations to speak to:
- Speak to your GP
- Speak to your bank
- Speak to the neighbourhood housing office
- Speak to the benefits agency
- Arrange pet care (The Dogs Trust offer a fostering service for dogs, until their owner can take them back)
- Speak with a solicitor